• Elizabeth the 333rd

    Those old Scissors: And Proper Friend

    The packed lounge chanted my name and like a doe caught in the headlights, I turned to see they were all looking at me. “What the hell’s going on?” I thought as a rush of panic moved through me. “Karen, Karen, Karen,” they all chanted, then the horror revealed itself. “Could Karen please step up onto the stage,” the lead guitarist of a country and western band said into the microphone. My mouth went dry and was unsure if I was having a stroke at seventeen, but the lights seemed to dim awfully low and something unholy had made my feet move towards that stage. Read more by following this…

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    Get Thee Behind Me Sister: I Walk Alone

    I know it has been a while, and now I have a routine for getting on with my PhD, I am ready to write for my websites again. So, here goes. I have spoken about betrayal in other posts, but there is one act of betrayal I could never forgive. After I escaped my abuser and got my own place, my daughter came back from a weekend with him with a collection of print-outs in her bag. ‘Here, Mum,’ she said and handed them to me. As I glanced over them, I saw they were printouts of conversations I’d had online with others. ‘Where’d you get these?’ I asked. “Aunty…

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    Hard To Begin

    I know I haven’t posted for sometime, and although I am busy with study, I guess I am putting off writing the next post because, like so many people who have survived their abusers, the more I look back, the more abuse there is to tell. To begin at the beginning, is to tear open wounds I never knew were all bundled up with everything else. The more I think about things, the more I recall stories about my childhood. Then I begin to think I should have written about those things before moving on to my ex-husband. This post is to let you know I am still writing this…

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    Let’s Talk About Sex

    I sat him down and told him if I say no, that means I do not want to have sex--he believed if we weren't having sex, I must've been having it with someone else-he said, 'That's fine, just tell me and I'll stop.'That night when we went to bed, he rolled over and grabbed me, I said, 'No,' and he rolled away, sat up on the edge of the bed, got dressed and left the house.

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    R.I.P. My Larry Boy

    My baby boy, Larry, died two days ago. Larry was my cat. He was my companion for twenty years and the last black cat in my life for more than twenty-five. I miss him dearly. His chair sits next to mine and when I write, I’d take a few minutes every hour and slip my hand up under his blanket and stroke him. I sit here today stroking the arm of his chair. I keep expecting him to be there, but when I look, I remember. He had a heart murmur, but has been good for two years or more. The other morning though, I’m certain he had a massive…

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    All Was Not What It Seemed

    I met my ex-husband at my friends wedding. It was her brother. Their younger step brother was bothering me and he stepped in and put a stop to it. From that day I moved in with several others, to my eventual sister in laws flat. It was down near Scarborough beach. No-one hung around the flat because we were at the beach everyday. My ex-husband began to visit on a regular basis and we eventually started seeing each other. There were huge flashing warning signs screaming, ‘Turn back now,’ but I was young and escaping an abusive woman. I had no-one to talk to about things, so when he took…

  • Elizabeth the 333rd

    Bullshit Just Gets A New Name

    My ex-husband died last year and his legacy, surreal as it might be for me, is for many others, that, ‘He was a good man.’ In life I allowed his lies to flourish by remaining silent. That was my fault. I also had no intention of speaking ill of his memory, the one he built in the minds of others after I escaped. I will not allow the lie to tarnish my future because I did not speak up again. I remained silent because I chose to live, but new life has been breathed into a new monster. It has been given a new platform created, and held together, with…